Turning Tables
by stickyfrog
Summary: Clyde thought Butters would be an easy catch, pure and innocent. He's in for a shock when he realizes Butters is far less innocent than previously thought... Complete!
1. LIES!

**Turning Tables**

**Chapter 1: **_**LIES!**_

**For: ****serendipityrain711**

**Rated M: For crude language and adult situations (all consenting adults). **

Clyde remembered his first kiss like it was yesterday. He was nine years old at the time and Craig, _Craig of all people _had considered that they might try to platonically practice on one another, _for when they were going to kiss girls_ _of course, which Craig was now well practiced in at nineteen years old_. Clyde had never been attracted to Craig; not even when they were kids, they were like brothers so that would be weird; however he would have been lying if he said he hadn't enjoyed it for what it was.

Clyde came out to Craig when they were fifteen, crying of course,_ just had to be crying like the little pussy that I am. _He expected Craig to say one of many things, "Gross!", "weird…", or "And you're telling me this _because?"_ What he didn't expect was what Craig actually ended up saying, "So? Why are you crying, it's not that big of a deal." He also didn't expect the sentence that slipped out of Craig's drunken mouth last night at the lake, "Why are you still a virgin, man? You're almost twenty, why haven't you just fucked Butters already?" With a shrill laugh that only escaped Craig in his sloppiest of moments. Clyde had stormed off.

Craig thought just because Clyde and Butters were both … different that they should be sleeping with each other? He supposed Craig would sleep with the only single girl at a party if he had no other options despite how off she may look "Just a little more blind juice," he'd say slurping on a beer before dragging the cow off to an abandoned room. _Yuck!_

Clyde guessed he could seduce Butters into bed but knowing Butters he would probably get attached and cause an bunch of drama, blah blah blah. He could see it now, "_Oh Clyde_!" Butters would exclaim as if Clyde was a knight in shining armor, "_You looked my way?! Marry me!"_ Alright maybe that was a little ridiculous but Clyde knew he was way out of Butters' league and Butters was likely so naive that he didn't even know what sex was!

Even so, Clyde had thought about it and decided he ought to try and get it out of his system or he may be a virgin forever...

"Butters…." Clyde leaned over the counter of the local post office, looking at the hilariously uniformed boy _I could just imagine him going 'postal' and killing everyone in South Park, haha! _

"What can I do for you today?" Butters asked him cheerily, with a ridiculously fake smile planted across his face.

"I need some… stamps?"

"Okie dokie, which ones and how many?" Butters laid some stamps across the desk, "these ones donate money to cancer research," butters pointed at a stamp with a ribbon on it, whispering like it was a secret.

Clyde mustered up some courage (Not that he was scared of Butters, he had just never asked anyone out before). "Do you wanna maybe … like…. go on a date with me sometime?" Clyde scratched the back of his head, his eyes darting everywhere but at butters.

"Um… Yeah I guess so." Butters looked properly confused. "What stamps do you want?" He pushed the stamps on the counter towards Clyde again.

"I don't actually need them…" Clyde blushed, "so… yeah."

"Oh… if you were just coming in here to ask me out why did you ask for stamps?" Butters laughed, his eyes giving Clyde a once-over.

"Uh…"

"I thought you hated me?" Butters smiled widely at Clyde.

"What? Why?"

"I don't know, you're always avoiding me!" He was still smiling that cloyingly sweet smile. "That's ok though, lots of people do." The smile faltered a bit but stayed in place.

"I don't avoid you." _Well, maybe a little bit._

"Well, where are you taking me?" Butters deposited the stamps back under the counter as he spoke.

"Uh, you know… wherever."

Butters chuckled. "Wherever sounds… great. Whenever too?"

"When do you get off work?" Clyde glanced around.

"Today? Five."

"Then… I'll pick you up at your house at like 5:30 or 6?"

"Ok." Butters was leaning against the counter, his grin had gone from fake-sweet to humor.

* * *

_I guess Shakey's Pizza is as good as any place, right?_ Clyde thought, staring across the booth at butters, _What am I doing!? _The silence was awkward.

"Butters, have you ever dated anyone?" It slipped out, Clyde rarely thought about what he was going to say.

"Yes." Was Butters' short answer while browsing the menu.

"Oh." Clyde was surprised, he was sure this was level playing field when he had asked Butters out. _Maybe it was just a childish relationship. _"Are you a virgin?"

"That's awful personal." Butters giggled. The waitress came up and they each ordered a slice of pizza and a soda (Butters got a cheese slice, Clyde got the garbage pizza).

"Well?"

Butters blushed, Clyde was nearly sure of the answer… "No." Butters was blushing harder. "But I'm not a whore or anything!" He added with a nervous laugh.

"Of course not…." Clyde was blushing too. Butters had had sex?! And he hadn't?!

"What about you?" Clyde wasn't expecting retaliation!

"Uh… Of course not! I just figured you were…" _LIES!_

"Why?"

"What?" Clyde looked up suddenly.

"Why did you figure I was?" Butters raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"No offense, you just seem really innocent."

"I said I'm not a whore or anything!" Butters laughed out loud, "It was just with the same person…"

"Who?"

"My ex-boyfriend Stephen, from Denver. Long distance wasn't really working for either of us so I broke up with him about two years ago." _Butters did the breaking up? What?!_

"Oh."

"How about you?"

"What?"

"Who was your first?" Butters smiled sweetly, "_I_ told you!"

"Uh, just a one night stand in the city…" Clyde lied, "You know how it is… how long were you with Stephen?" He tried to change the subject.

Butters laughed at Clyde's shy babbling. "Are you planning on having your way with me?" Clyde choked on his soda, "You're just asking a lot about my sex life!" Butters laughed.

"I've actually never… been with anyone… ever." Clyde responded miserably. "That was a lie, I'm sorry."

"Oh, that's why you asked…" A look of realization came over Butters' features. "You're so attractive, I thought you'd had a ton of partners!" A cute little giggle bubbled up from his lips.

"No, I'm pathetic." Clyde frowned, looking out the window to his left.

"That doesn't make you pathetic; it makes you a real gentleman!" Clyde smiled.

* * *

"I went on a date with Butters a couple days ago..." Clyde mentioned casually to Craig.

"Ah, good. Did you hit that?" Craig grinned.

"No! It was just one date!"

"Aw that's so adorable, you have morals!" Craig chuckled. "Did you try? Was he all shy and not letting you get it?"

"No, he tried to kiss me _and_ invited me into his house, which I did neither of! He's a sexual deviant!"

Craig snorted at this, "I never thought I'd hear someone call butters a sexual deviant."

"Who does that stuff on the first date?!" Clyde started to get flustered.

"Sex? The majority of people. Kiss? _Everyone,_ Clyde." Craig sighed. "You might have lost your chance, what a pity." He shook his head.

"I thought he'd be desperately blowing up my phone too since he has my phone number now, but _no_, not even _one lousy text_."

"You're hilarious." Craig chuckled again, "Hey!" He yelled over Clyde's shoulder, "Butters, come here!"

Clyde groaned as he turned to see Butters coming across the street towards them.

"Hi Craig!" Butters smiled happily, waving at them. "Hi Clyde!" Clyde grunted in response.

"So, I heard all about your date." Clyde huffed at his side.

"Shut up Craig!"

"Oh." Butters frowned, "It wasn't a big deal."

"I know, sorry Clyde was such a girl!" Craig and Butters laughed together. Clyde was not amused.

"Any chance he can have a second date? He's been gushing over his phone waiting for you to…" Clyde elbowed Craig mid-speech, "…call him. ow!"

"Shut the fuck up!" Clyde growled.

"Of course! You could have just called _me_ Clyde." Butters laughed while walking away, "So… call me!" He finished over his shoulder.


	2. Cookies

**Turning Tables**

**Chapter 2: Cookies**

**A/N: This chapter is kind of short, I have no excuses. The correct stopping point just makes sense after 1000 words sometimes, even if **_**IT IS**_** too short. I have a lot of work to di with three active stories… Enough of my babbling… **

**Rated M: For crude language and adult situations (all consenting adults). **

"I HATE you!" Clyde growled through his teeth at his quiet friend, _Only quiet when it's convenient for him! _"What if I didn't want to go on a second date with Butters? Huh?"

Craig smirked smugly and continued walking next to Clyde. "Then, stand him up? Don't call? Be a total dick?" He shrugged.

"I'm not mean like _you_."

"Then, enjoy your date and for god sakes don't be such a child about it." Craig casually tossed his finished cigarette over his shoulder.

"Please start a brush fire and kill me…" Clyde mumbled back at the cigarette butt.

* * *

Clyde was lying on his bed thinking. Thinking about the totally embarrassing things Craig had said to butters, about what he was going to do to get out of this, about…

RING RING

Clyde turned his head towards the glowing phone on his nightstand. _Craig, what the fuck does he want?_ He assumed, lifting the receiver to his ear (not bothering to check the screen). "What the fuck do you want?" He growled into the phone.

"I thought you'd be glad I called you…" It was Butters on the other side.

"Oh! Butters… I thought it was Craig." Clyde apologized lamely.

Butters laughed, "So… my parents are out of town this weekend, and if you wanted to hang out we could just hang out here." Clyde lost all ability to speak suddenly, "or we could go to shakey's, eat terrible pizza, and have an awkward conversation about our virginities again." Clyde could literally hear the joyous smile on Butters face.

He was supposed to 'be a total dick', but he didn't really know how, "uhhhh, yeah whatever."

Butters giggled, "Yes… whatever."

"Like, tonight or tomorrow?" _Why am I so nervous? Oh… right… Butters wants to rape me._

"Eager?" Butters laughed.

"Uhhhhh…." Clyde was frozen.

"Just kidding! Whenever you want to come over, go ahead. I realize that you're no good at making plans."

"Ok…" Clyde hung up the phone before making a further ass of himself.

_Why are you still a virgin, man? You're almost twenty_. Craig's words from last week were plastered on his brain. That's what this was all about right? If Craig hadn't said anything he would never have talked to Butters again and been perfectly happy. The confidence of knowing Butters was going to be a clingy virgin was also smashed into pieces. Butters wasn't just more experienced than he was, he had had intercourse with another man _several times_.

_I'm not a whore or anything! _He remembered Butters' words and laughed to himself. True… Butters wasn't a whore, he'd had a steady relationship before. _Fuck it. _Clyde got up from his bed and pulled his coat on. He was determined to not act stupid or nervous. _Kiss him once_, because Craig said _everyone _does that. _Damn it Craig…_

DING DONG

_I shouldn't have come here, damn, I already rang the doorbell. Maybe I can run before it ope…_

"Hi Clyde, I didn't know you were coming so soon, I would have tidied up." Butters smiled, charmingly.

"I can go!" He was already turning to walk away…

"No, it's ok. I made some cookies." _That's what that alluring smell is._ "You can have…"

"You had me at 'cookies'." Clyde pushed past Butters intruding on his parent's living room. The house was empty save for Butters and delicious baked goods… no parents. Clyde had kind of hoped they hadn't left yet…

"White chocolate chip macadamia and peanut butter. Have as many as you want." Butters set the two plates down on the coffee table.

"I'll have all of them please. Haha." He began digging into the Peanut butter cookies, "Good god, they're still warm." He was practically moaning, having forgotten about the other's presence.

"I'm glad you like them." Butters laughed. Clyde turned his head at the noise, cookie crumbs littering his chin.

"I probably look like a pig." _Dad says I look disgusting when I eat. Would Butters not want to kiss me after watching me eat like this? _"Sorry…" He wiped his face off on the back of his sleeve and sat back on the couch awkwardly.

"It's ok. It's kind of endearing since I made them." Butters regarded Clyde with his usual friendly smile, and a glint of something else…

"Are you mad at me?" Clyde asked suddenly, unnerved by Butters' expression.

Butters frowned, "why would I be mad at you?"

"Because when you…" Clyde blushed, _saying things without thinking again_, "When you tried to kiss me I backed up." His feet were suddenly very interesting.

"That's ok, I'm not mad. Maybe I should have asked your permission," he laughed. "Haven't you ever kissed anyone before?" Butters cocked his head to the side, it was kind of cute like a curious kitten.

"Once, when I was a kid." Clyde said dismally. "Even more pathetic than you thought, huh?"

"That doesn't make you pathetic." Déjà vu washed over Clyde and he smiled a little. Butters wasn't very judgmental but Clyde had always been self-deprecating.

"Do you still even want to, or was it off-putting?" Clyde questioned carefully.

"Do I still want to what? Kiss you?" Clyde nodded, "Sure, of course." Butters looked embarrassed, "It's ok if you don't want to, though. It doesn't make me mad."

Clyde leaned across the couch nervously and planted a brief kiss on Butters' lips, pulling back rather abruptly and re-taking his seat. _I didn't realize I was so damn shy_, Clyde thought turning his head away. His face felt like it was under the desert sun, burning!

"Thanks." Butters grabbed the TV remote and flipped on some nonsense reality show casually.

_Thanks? THANKS? _Clyde looked over at Butters who was gleefully watching the TV program, munching on a corner of a cookie. _Is that all? That wasn't such a big deal… I even kind of liked it. Maybe I should have kissed him longer or moved my mouth or something? God, I have no idea what I'm doing!_

They had eventually switched the TV to some prank show which had them both laughing and talking a little (without all the awkwardness). _Maybe we can just be really good friends… _

Somewhere in the course of an hour they had ended up holding hands on the couch, Clyde didn't remember it happening. Ok, maybe he did inch his pinky closer and closer to Butters' little finger, hoping he would get the hint. Butters definitely got the hint and slipped his small hand into Clyde's larger one. _His skin is so soft…_ _What's wrong with me. This is all your fault Craig! Damn you!_

**A/N: I couldn't help but think of the guinea pig/puru episode at the end of this… **

**Guinea Pirate: "Curse you Craaaig!" **


	3. Pigs

**Turning Tables**

**Chapter 3: Pigs**

Clyde stood outside Butters' house, two milkshakes in either hand. It was a little cold and his fingers were going numb around the cups. He was repeatedly bumping his head against a wooden post on Butters' porch. He'd been seeing the blonde boy for a week, they'd hung out or 'dated' four times. Clyde was _still_ nervous. Clyde still couldn't bring himself to do anything more than a nano-second kiss and the occasional lingering hug. Craig found Clyde's shyness in this situation hilarious and often teased him about it.

"You're going to get a splinter in your head." Butters laughed from his parent's doorway. Clyde jumped at the sound of _that_ voice and dropped one of the milkshakes onto the porch.

Both boys starred down at the mess for a moment before Clyde uttered a frustrated "Fuck!"

"We can share that one?" Butters was ever the optimist, pointing a finger at the remaining shake.

Clyde grinned, He already had a favorite thing about Butters, something no one else had the patience for. If it had been Craig's shake he would have received a rant along the lines of 'Look what you did, you stupid idiot. Go buy another one! I don't care if you're cold!' Butters never cared to tease in any hurtful way, he didn't care when anything bad happened, or when Clyde did something stupid… he never called Clyde stupid. He joined Butters inside the warm living room, shrugging off his coat and setting the cup on the coffee table.

"Got any more cookies?" Clyde joked, "I'm only here for the cookies."

"You ate them all!" Butters laughed, "I'll make you some more this weekend, ok?" Clyde nodded.

Butters wandered into the kitchen while Clyde took a seat on the couch. He grabbed some straws from the cabinet for their chocolate-super-fudge-brownie shake. _Clyde doesn't actually like me particularly, he's just lonely. It's alright I guess… I just can't get too attached. _He re-entered to Clyde watching some monster truck thing on TV, laughing obnoxiously. Butters raised an eyebrow at the ridiculous choice, but sat down without a complaint. Clyde finished most of the shake himself, but Butters didn't mind.

"Butterrrrrs!" His father's voice rang out from the kitchen suddenly. "Would you mind telling me why there's flour in my TEA?" Butters heard the sound of all the items in the pantry hit the floor.

_Because you're an idiot, _"Um…geez… well… I don't know, sir." He started rubbing his knuckles together, a nervous habit from his childhood. Butters was an adult now, his father shouldn't treat him this way or embarrass him in front of his friends!

"Get in here and reorganize this pantry, NOW!" Butters hopped up from the sofa and ran in to assist his father. Clyde starred flabbergasted at the kitchen entrance Butters had disappeared into. "Alphabetical, ALPHABETICAL!"

"What the fuck…" Clyde scratched his head in thought. Why hadn't Butters moved out of his parent's house yet? They were awfully controlling. He had rented an apartment with Craig as soon as possible, after they both had turned eighteen.

While Butters was mumbling apologies and re-organizing his parent's pantry, Mr. Stotch strolled through the kitchen door and gave Clyde a once-over. "And… who are you, young man?" he took a sip of his apparent 'tea full of flour'.

"Clyde Donovan." He blinked awkwardly.

"A friend of Butters'?" He glanced in the direction of the monster truck show and glanced at his letterman jacket and shrugged.

"Yeah, kind of." Clyde shrugged.

"Kind of?" Mr. Stotch questioned, his whole body going stiff. "You two had better not be doing anything… untoward." He narrowed his eyes.

Clyde shook his head 'no' several times, not really knowing what Mr. Stotch was getting at, but he sure had a good intimidating face. Mr. Stotch retreated up the stairs and Clyde quickly dashed into the kitchen to avoid any further awkwardness.

Butters was placing the last few boxes on the shelf, and re-assessing them to make sure they were correct. "Ramen, Rice, Rotini…." He hadn't heard Butters sound so nervous since he was much younger.

"Why do you still live with your parents?" His voice was barely above a whisper, but Butters jumped as if he'd yelled.

"Uh… I'm still grounded for seven more months and then I can move out."

"What? They can't ground you, you're an adult."

"W-well, they grounded me when I was seventeen for three years…" Butters sighed heavily.

"So?" Clyde shrugged. "Why don't you just blow off your parents and stay with me for a few days, I could use some good home cooking, Craig burns hot dogs and I eat too much fast food…" _Shit, he didn't ask Craig but it sounded like a better idea every minute._

"Er… Ok. You want me to stay over?" Butters raised an eyebrow quizzically.

"Yeah." Clyde said casually.

* * *

Craig was rather surprised to see both Clyde and Butters walk into the apartment that night. "Should I put on some loud music?" He smirked.

"What?! Shut up Craig!" Clyde fumed.

Butters waved cheerily at Craig with a crazy-nervous expression on his face. _They're totally going to fuck. _Craig thought. He shrugged and went back to the book he was reading on his kindle.

Butters made his way into the tiny apartment kitchen to see what kind of food they had available. It would be a joy to cook dinner for Clyde he always ate Butters' food with enthusiasm, which made Butters all warm and fuzzy. He opened the fridge: Beer, cheap hot dogs, cheese singles, old fast food bags, energy drinks. Butters scrunched his nose in disgust. He checked the pantry: Biscuit mix, chocolate milk mix, Canned spaghetti, ground coffee, cheap vegetable oil, and liquor. _What the fuck…_

Clyde slumped on the couch next to Craig, "Butters is going to make us dinner." Craig grunted in response, annoyed at the distraction from his compelling story.

"Did you take him shopping?" Craig mumbled at his kindle screen.

"No, we have some food right?" He could hear Butters opening some things and opening the oven so he must have found something.

"Do we need to go shopping?" He asked a little louder towards the kitchen.

"Absolutely, tomorrow. I'll be ok tonight." Butters answered. Dinner was ready in no time at all, Butters had whipped up some 'pigs in a blanket' for the boys with his minimal ingredients. Both Clyde and Craig were pleased and ate every bite. "I'll make something better tomorrow." Butters blushed.

"You wanna move in forever? I'll kick Clyde out." Craig said with his mouth half full of a hot dog.

"Hey!" Clyde shouted.

"Well, I guess you guys could just share a room since you're fucking and everything." Craig chuckled wickedly.

Butters laughed nervously, "Well, not really."

Craig's eyes widened in Clyde's direction, "Since you guys are fooling around?" He tried, Clydes head dropped, "Since you guys are… making out?" Clydes head dropped further, "What have you two been doing for the last week?!"

Butters answered before Clyde could, "Eating and watching TV."

"We _do_ kiss sometimes." Clyde added, blushing.

"Yeah, like small ones..." Butters frowned, "But that's ok! Clyde's really nervous." His smile returned abruptly.

"Get to it, man! He's a keeper!" Craig waved the last morsel in Clyde's face before departing to the bathroom.

"Well, that sure was awkward." Butters grinned in Clyde's direction. Clyde was blushing, infuriated by Craig's insinuation that he ought to 'keep' Butters, like a pet.

"Just ignore him, he's an ass."

"So… do you want me to sleep on the couch? Or…" Butters looked down at the old tattered couch underneath them. Craig and Clyde had pulled this junk out of the dumpster… no, Fresh-scented, clean, beautiful Butters could not sleep on this heap of trash.

"I have a really big bed." Clyde reddened. "It's a king size, I'm sure we'd both be comfortable."

"If you don't mind…" Butters returned the blush with a glowing smile.

**A/N: JIC you're sheltered or grew up too rich to have hot dogs for dinner, 'pigs in a blanket' is hot dogs and cheese wrapped in biscuit dough and baked in the oven, it is the most scrumptious three dollar meal ever invented. **


	4. Bacon!

**Chapter 4: Bacon!**

**serendipityrain711****: It is pretty perfect. Thank you again for all the reviews!**

**xLawlietx****: Thank you! And, I will… **

**Thank you everyone else for the follows/favs! I appreciate it, helps me to remember to update often. Its so hard not to mix this Clyde character up with the Tweek/Clyde one I'm writing right now (They have slightly different lives/jobs/homes/ect) please let me know of any plot holes or things that don't make sense!**

**Rated M for… adult stuff. Seriously this time…**

* * *

Clyde had never been so nervous. Butters was standing next to _his_ bed, pulling his shirt off, and pulling his _pants off! _Then; Pulling on ridiculous purple pajama pants… His body was nice, maybe not what the norm would call 'sexy', Skinny but not to the point of bones jutting out like Craig's… soft, like Butters' hands.

Clyde removed his shirt and pants as well, while Butters was turned away. He quickly climbed under the covers in his boxers. Butters climbed in after him. Clyde flipped on the TV but realized after a few minutes that butters was on his side, staring at him. "Sup?" He said nervously.

Butters propped himself up on his hands and leaned over Clyde, his eyes half lidded, his small playful smile, and then his lips pressing against Clyde's. It was better and longer than any other kiss they'd shared previously. Butters was good at kissing, which made Clyde think maybe he was _bad_ at it! Butters finally pulled away after attempting to slip his tongue in (which ended in awkwardness because Clyde didn't know what to do…). "Do you want to fool around or something, or just sleep?" Butters asked so nonchalantly it made Clyde blush.

"Uh…" Clyde _had_ thought he would have the upper hand in this relationship, but Butters kept proving him wrong.

"I'ts ok," Butters giggled, "I know you're nervous and shy about it."

Clyde grabbed onto a little bravery from deep within himself to reply, "We can… If you want to?" He couldn't look the smaller boy in the face after that stupid comment.

Butters slinked a little closer to him, "You sure?" He asked in a sweet voice.

Clyde laughed nervously, "yeah…"

Butters began kissing him again, it was much better this time. Clyde responded more appropriately and it became passionate. Clyde's nervousness melted away, as if Butters' kiss was a magic spell or drug relaxing him. His hands found Butter's soft waist and Butters hands… were traveling down his chest, across his stomach, and on the inside of his thighs. Butters was a fucking pro with those hands, Clyde was melting and surely his body was on fire.

Clyde was hard as a rock and Butters hand kept coming closer to touching him. One of those agonizingly soft and delicate hands slipped up the right leg of his shorts and stopped just short of his dick before pulling away slightly, this was utter torture. Clyde whined involuntarily, looking up at the angel hovering over him.

Butters smiled down at him, it looked so seductive but it could have been Clyde's clouded mind. He arched up to kiss the blonde again, he missed the feeling of Butters' skin. While he was distracted with the kiss that evil little hand clutched his hard-on with a firm grasp. He moaned into Butters' mouth. All this teasing had made him close, too close!

Clyde quickly and clumsily stuck his own hand down the other boy's pants to reciprocate before he exploded, which happened rather quickly, embarrassingly quickly! It didn't matter how tired he was, he was in euphoria. He apologized for the quick release, still grasping Butters in his own hand. This sight was something to behold, his partner was lying across his bed, panting, sweating, smiling, and reaching up to steal another kiss. Clyde followed through and worked Butters to completion as well, which took four times as long as Clyde had but it was worth it. Butters orgasm face was remarkable.

* * *

When Clyde awoke the next morning Butters was not next to him as expected. Clyde frowned, had he left? He got up and dressed quickly in a pair of dirty jeans from the floor and a fresh t-shirt. When he opened his bedroom door it was clear where Butters had gone, he smelled _bacon_, he heard _sizzling, _He saw… Craig grinning at Butters while he cooked. What the hell?

"I'm stealing your boyfriend, Clyde. He makes my stomach aroused." Craig swiveled in his chair when he heard Clyde approaching.

"Fuck off." Clyde answered, belly growling.

Butters gently set a full plate of breakfast goodies on the kitchen bar for Clyde. It was a heaping plate of Scrambled eggs (the fluffy, good, restaurant kind that were impossible to achieve), Bacon, Sausage, and toast. "Good morning, Clyde." He smiled, "I grabbed some stuff from the store." Butters gestured toward the kitchen where there were now three different kinds of bread, fruits and vegetables, and several brown paper bags stacked by the trash can. He assumed there was more food in the fridge and pantry.

"Sweet."

"Did you guys fuck last night? I didn't hear anything so it must have been dull." Craig started with his normal teasing.

"No!" Clyde shouted, but butters had also said "Kind of" at the same time. Craig smirked and Clyde blushed glaring at Butters.

"Kind of, eh?" Craig grinned evilly, leaning over the bar to look at Butters.

Butters laughed and turned away from Craig's glare to clean up the mess from breakfast.

* * *

Clyde sat on his bed, back up against the headboard. Butters was lying with his head in his lap. Clyde couldn't help running his fingers through some of the hair at the back of Butters' neck. "Hey, Butters?" He started thoughtfully.

"Hm?"

"When you and your ex boyfriend used to…. You know… did you like switch off or…"

Butters chuckled quietly at Clyde's wording, Clyde could feel him shake. "No, he was always on top. He was way bigger and more muscular than me, bigger than _you_ even." Butters made his point by flexing one of his arms comically, "It would have been unnatural looking even if he let me, which he would _never_ have. He was too macho." He laughed a little harder at the thought.

Clyde blushed, Butters had been on the bottom which made sense but until this moment he always pictured Butters' ex as some little nerdy guy or something, not some muscular 'macho man'. "So you're still kind of a virgin…" Clyde didn't mean to say it out loud, it just slipped out.

"I guess… kind of?" Butters shrugged.


	5. It's all gooey…

**Chapter 5: It's all gooey… **

**serendipityrain711****: Thank you as always, I'm incredibly pleased that you're enjoying my writing :D I hope this one's not too silly or risqué for you. **

**Rated M for…more… adult stuff.**

* * *

Clyde had been watching TV with Butter's head in his lap for a couple of hours now, it was rather comfortable. He was watching Family Feud, because he'd never grown out of loving games shows. "Things you wouldn't want to get caught doing." Was the new category.

"Stealing, masturbating, dancing, picking your nose…" Clyde drawled out. There was no response from the boy in his lap, he gave Butters a little jiggle but the boy did not budge. _He must have fallen asleep…_ Butters' cell phone was lying on the bed in front of him… curiosity was too hard to resist. He listed the phone up to his face and thumbed through the text messages, feeling like an overbearing girlfriend. _Mom, dad, Clyde, Work, Wendy, Stephen… _Clyde clicked Butters' ex's text log open, _This is so wrong._ He glanced at the sleeping boy to make sure again.

The last message was from … today?!

Stephen: What are you doing?

Butters: Not much, just shopping!

Stephen: You should come down and visit.

Butters: lol, y

Stephen: Miss you…

Butters: Miss you too :)

Stephen: 3

Butters: Stop it!

That was the last one. Clyde scrolled up to some previous texts from a few months ago.

Stephen: I really enjoyed last night…

Butters: Me too! That was the best milkshake I've ever had!

Stephen: I meant after that

Butters: Oh. Right lol

Stephen: I really enjoy fucking you.

Clyde blushed and turned his face away from the phone for a moment. The thought that he was prying was now heavy on his shoulders. He continued…

Butters: You're making me embarrassed, I'm in public. Jesus!

Stephen: But I can't stop thinking about you.

Butters: lol. Get a hobby

Stephen: Aw. Come on…

Butters ex was clingy! He'd texted Butters at least once a week since their supposed 'break up', and apparently a booty call every now and then wasn't out of the question. Clyde closed the texts and decided to take a quick glance at Butters' pictures (After making sure he was asleep one more time). The most recent few were of Butters taking silly selfies in various locations, making funny faces and/or holding up weird objects and making a comically confused face at it (Like a can of slugs or a sign in some Asian character language), a regular type of picture Butters used for his facebook images. There were some of Butter's parents, his mom making dinner. There were some of Butters sleep-over with Wendy and Bebe, the girls painting his nails sparkly pink, Clyde snorted. There were some of … Butters kissing and hugging on this guy… who looked like… he looked like a chip-and-dales dancer, or a marine, or a body builder or something. He was solid and he was _fine_… and Butters looked so happy with him. Clyde frowned, Butters had a very attractive man in Denver longing for him and he was fooling around with _Clyde? _Clyde; who had love handles and ate too much candy and cried too much? _Why?_ He was starting to understand Butters less and less.

Butters stretched and yawned in his lap, Clyde immediately dropped the phone on the bed as if it'd burned him. "Sorry, I fell asleep." Butters yawned, looking up at Clyde.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You've been doing that a lot lately. Is it about Stephen again?" He sounded kind of frustrated.

"No…" _Kind of, _"What about _me_ do you find attractive?" Clyde looked deflated.

Butters laughed, "I Believe _you _asked _me_ out."

"So… you're not attracted to me?"

"Of course I am. You're very attractive. Just fishing for compliments, then?" Butters grinned, "Why'd _you_ ask me out?" Clyde froze, Why did he ask Butters out, Because Craig told him to? That's a terrible thing to say. When he didn't answer for a few minutes Butters continued, "I like that you're laid back and you don't care about working out but you're still really strong regardless. You're _real _a gentleman, which is kind of rare these days." _That again. _

"Wouldn't you like me more if I was more _forward_ or _experienced_?"

"Not really, every guy is like that." Butters laughed. Butters gave him a weird sad-ish look before sitting up and walking to the bathroom.

_What did he look at me like that for? Oh shit… _Butters had asked why Clyde had asked him out, maybe fishing for some compliments himself and Clyde just stared like a fucking idiot.

Butters splashed some cold water on his face, which always helped to keep him from crying. It was always like this, with every guy he'd ever dated or tried to date. Butters was awkward looking, girlish, maybe even a little annoying sometimes. Sexy or handsome? Never, he couldn't be… Butters looked up at the reflection he hated. His eyes welled up with the tears he'd tried to prevent and he quietly sobbed over the sink for a couple minutes before giving himself the cold water treatment again.

Happy thoughts, happy thoughts… Stephen had always closed his eyes tight when they'd fooled around or had sex; he was thinking about someone else every time, he'd even said the wrong name twice, two different ones for god sakes! He'd been cheating on Butters the whole time, and Butters had _known_ the whole time. Clyde was definitely _not_ promiscuous, and he didn't shut his eyes when Butters was touching him. Butters grinned in victory at the small boy in the mirror.

Clyde had been thinking about all the things he liked about Butters while he was waiting for him to come back and exploded everything he'd thought of as soon as he saw Butters emerge from the bathroom, "You're sweet, and soft, you have really nice eyes, you're a great cook, and an ever better kisser…" Clyde frowned. Butters' eyes were red, his bangs were wet, but he was smiling. "Are you ok?" Clyde asked the smaller boy.

Butters was ecstatic about what Clyde had said, he didn't expect it at all. "I'm fine!" He said happily, heading toward Clyde's living room.

"Steak time, yeah!" Craig said when he saw Butters enter the living room.

"What?" Clyde looked at Craig strangely.

"He's making steak!" Craig sat up by the bar so he could smell the cooking, still reading his captivating book. Butters nodded in approval while pulling a pan from the cupboard.

"Red meat's not _bad _for you, it's just something you should eat in moderation. How do you want it cooked?" Craig and Clyde both snorted.

"Butters, we're _men_ and we're _young _we don't care if our food's going to kill us yet. _Rare!_" Butters grinned at Craig's statement as he dropped a few pats of butter in the sizzling pan.

"Medium…" Clyde mumbled, sitting next to his friend at the bar.

"Have you decided if you're moving in yet?" Craig added.

"I don't know. I didn't know it was an actual offer." Butters looked up at Clyde before going back to his cooking.

"Well, you shouldn't have to live with your asshole parents anymore." Clyde shrugged.

"Hey! My mom is really nice." Butters laid a perfect steak on Craig's waiting plate. His eyes lit up like a child on Christmas. His kindle lay forgotten on the counter as he began tearing through his steak.

"Who taught you how to cook so good?" Clyde said with a mouth full of steak.

"I don't want to see your partially digested food, motherfucker." Craig punched Clyde in the shoulder.

"My wonderful _non-asshole_ mother." Butters finished cooking his own food and joined the other two.

* * *

While they were getting ready for bed Clyde's mind was racing. Butters was going to sleep over again, in _his_ bed again. Would he stay? Would he sleep here every day? Could Clyde handle that? Butters had work the following morning and he was going to get ready and leave from this apartment. Clyde rubbed the sleepiness out of his eyes.

Butters was relaxing on the bed it what Clyde would now refer to as '_Butter's spot'_ on the bed. They were watching TV contentedly, Butters was not pushing to do _anything_ tonight, it made Clyde kind of upset… The prior night had been so much fun and they had _cuddled_ today. Maybe Stephen had texted him again and Butters couldn't stop thinking about _him._

Butters turned towards Clyde who was watching him instead of the TV. "Everything ok?" He asked sweetly. Clyde must have looked stressed or worried.

"No… just thinking… about _you_."

"What _about_ me?" he chuckled.

"I was just… I don't know. I was thinking about what it would be like to have you here like… all the time."

"I wouldn't stay unless you asked me to. I can leave if you want?"

"No! You know… good thoughts about it…" Clyde smiled.

Butters giggled, "Are you trying to be sweet or perverted, I can never tell with you…"

"Um… I'm not _trying _to be perverted, but I can't say that perverted-type things haven't crossed my mind." Clyde's face was flushed.

"Oh?" Butters raised his eyebrows in amusement and turned the TV off before leaning over to give Clyde a small kiss. "Turn the light off." He gestured at the lamp at Clyde's bedside.

"Why? Are you going to murder me?" They both laughed.

"So you won't be so shy. Trust me." Clyde didn't question him further, he switched the light off and they were submerged in darkness.

Butters began kissing Clyde's face, neck, shoulders, and anything else he could reach. His soft hands were running all over Clyde's chest and sensitive sides; and he _wasn't_ as nervous in the dark, Butters was right because the other boy couldn't see his stupid faces and fumbling. Clyde bravely tried to copy the little teasing touches and kisses that Butters was giving him and to his delight Butters seemed to react positively to it.

The sweet kisses stopped and Clyde felt the bed shift slightly before he realized Butters was moving on top of him, straddling his hips. The slight friction the new position had caused was maddening, he clutched onto Butters' thin hips and arched up into him. Butters gasped, sighed and moaned in such a beautiful way it made Clyde think he could fall in love with Butters' small voice, he could fall in love with _those sounds_.

The sweet friction was removed as Butters lifted his body and slid down, Clyde was a little frustrated that every time he got comfortable with what they were engaging in Butters would change his position! He was about to say something along the lines of '_come back here!' _when he felt Butters pull down the top of Clyde's underwear and lick up his shaft.

"Whoa." Clyde's eyes went wide.

"You ok?" Butters asked in a genuinely concerned voice.

"Yes, definitely yes!" Butters laughed quietly at Clyde's interjection before continuing his oral exploration. Clyde was in paradise, but his mind did wander to another issue… _I can't reciprocate; I don't know how to do that! What if he laughs at me? _His inner turmoil was probably a good thing since it made him last a bit longer this time.

It was like the first time you try a drug (illegal or prescription, doesn't matter) and you get that out-of-body euphoric dopamine and/or serotonin response and nothing in the world matters anymore except how you _feel._ That was how it felt this time when Butters brought him off with that _hot experienced mouth_, _good god!_ Clyde glanced down when he'd come down from his high and Butters was coughing at the foot of the bed, he could hear it. Clyde raised an eyebrow, _Oh shit_ he'd finished in the other boy's mouth, he probably should have warned him! _Oops…_

"Sorry." Clyde said miserably, assuming Butters was no longer having a good time.

"It's ok." Butters answered when he could finally speak again, he wiped his mouth with the back of his left forearm.

"Do you want me to… uh…" The nervousness came back full force as Clyde stuttered, trying to ask Butters if he wanted him to do it back.

Butters flipped on the light and lifted his right hand deliberately which was coated with the blonde's own ejaculate. They both laughed, Butters wiggled his fingers around while walking to the bathroom to wash it off "Ew, it's all gooey…"

* * *

**A/N: Mmmm Butter's Creamy Goo… lol! I'll tell all you ladies out there right now, just to set the record straight; hummers **_**do**_** feel better than actual sex, you're boyfriends are all liars because they know you don't want to do it. *Evil laugh***


	6. Cornish Hens

**Chapter 6: Cornish Hens**

**serendipityrain711****: I **_**did**_** realize that I named Butter's ex after his father after it'd already been posted! Oh well, at least it's a common name. **

**This is like the most sickeningly sweet story I've ever written! Still needs more porn… **

**Rated M for…more… adult stuff. Like a more this time… **

* * *

Butters woke up before Clyde as usual, he'd always fallen asleep so quick and early that it was inevitable the boy would wake with the sun. The noise of his phone buzzing didn't help either. His phone's time was 6:32am, that couldn't be right, Butters was usually up around 5am.

The buzzing was caused by a text message, but who would be texting him this early? Maybe mom… He glanced at his messages to see 'Stephen' highlighted. He used to get a warm fuzzy feeling when his ex was thinking about him but now it made him feel guilty, he was getting in deep with Clyde after all.

Stephen: Butters, you awake?

Butters: I am now… *yawn*

Stephen: Sorry… I'm going to be in town today, do you want to get together or something…

Butters started typing 'I don't know if that's a good idea…' and erased it. Had Clyde ever said they were exclusive? Butters didn't think so… Although, Craig had used the word 'boyfriend' and Clyde hadn't objected…

Butters: Maybe.

It _did_ send an awful painful feeling shooting up his chest, _guilt_. Butters liked Clyde, he had everything Stephen didn't have including but not limited to more free time, a good appetite, humor, morals and honesty…

Butters mind turned to breakfast, '_mmm French toast sounds really good…'_

* * *

Clyde awoke to his mouth watering, the apartment was filled with an amazing smell but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. He pulled on some clothes sloppily and made his way out to the kitchen.

Butters and Craig were already awake and having a conversation, he didn't mean to eaves drop but they were talking about _him._

"I really don't mind it; I think it's really cute." Butters laughed.

"Doesn't that frustrate you? I mean… I couldn't stay with a girl who expected _me_ to do all the work." Craig shoved a bite of his breakfast in his mouth.

"I'm generous. I don't really expect anything." Butters began plating up more French toast with berries and a sprinkle of powdered sugar; he set it on the bar for Clyde to retrieve when he woke up.

"I guess I'm greedy then." Craig shrugged. Clyde finally made himself known, not wanting to hear any more of the banter, plus his breakfast was calling to him.

"Good morning!" Butters said brightly, Craig just grunted at Clyde's presence. Clyde sat down and poured a copious amount of syrup on his toast before diving in.

"Yum!" He finally said after swallowing the sugary treat.

"I'm going to have to go home today, I have work in three hours."

"I thought you were staying here?" Clyde asked, Butters smiled at the implication, "I mean… you can grab your things if you need to." He began eating again calmly, as if the statement hadn't meant anything at all.

"So… you _do_ want me to stay here?" Butters raised an eyebrow, very gently taking a small bite of his French toast.

"Of course." Clyde said dismissively. Craig rolled his eyes.

* * *

Butters went back to his parent's house to pick up his work uniform and throw some changes of clothes into his back seat. He narrowly avoided a confrontation with his father by urgently needing to get to work on time.

Everything was running smoothly at the post office until something threw his entire day off.

"God, I love you in a uniform!" A smooth voice came from the front doors. The old lady at the counter turned at this as well giving the man a 'wait-your-turn-you-hooligan!' look.

Butters rolled his eyes and continued to help his customer. He knew he didn't look good I the long navy shorts and cheap button up shirt, Stephen was playing with him. Luckily Butters was sick of playing this game.

"Can I help you?" He said as the familiar man walked up to the counter.

"I think you can." He said slyly, leaning on the counter.

"With something _business related_?" Butters growled.

"You _are_ my business, Leo." Butters cringed at the stupid nickname.

"It's Butters." He hissed.

"mmmhm." Stephen lifted a paperclip from Butter's magnet holder and flicked it across the floor, making Butters angry. "Calling out 'Butters' in ecstasy isn't exactly sexy." The larger man laughed.

"I like my name, thank you." Butters frowned. "Please move, I have other customers."

Stephen looked around the empty office, "Riiiight." He flicked another paper clip across the floor.

"Stop it!" Butters shouted, knowing he'd have to clean them up.

"When's your lunch?" Stephen whispered, picking up another paper clip.

"None of your…" he flung the next clip across the floor and grabbed for a fourth. "Business."

"Tell me." Another, "_Now. Or else._"

"Two PM." Butters said defeated.

* * *

It was two thirty in the afternoon and Clyde and Craig were headed to the skate park where Craig could do tricks and Clyde could look like an ass until he got hurt and then he would watch Craig show off. They walked by Shakey's Pizza and it smelled amazing, Clyde turned his head towards the pizza aroma and stopped dead in his tracks.

"What?!" Craig snarled.

Clyde stared through the window where he saw Butters and Stephen sitting in a booth, one side unoccupied and the other side with the two men sitting ever so close (Stephen's arm around Butter's shoulder). Craig patted Clyde's back, trying to distract him but Clyde couldn't help himself, he burst into the shop.

"What the fuck?" He said, storming over to the table where the two boys sat. He slammed his hands down onto the table top making Butters gasp and Stephen growl. "I turn my head for five minutes and you take this asshole to … to where we had our _first date?_"

"You don't understand…" Butters started, _he was threatening me_.

"Fuck off loser." Stephen said, laughing at the other boy, "Leo _belongs_ to me."

"Leo? Belongs? What the fuck?"

Butters shrank away from the muscular man blocking him into the booth, "Steve, I'm dating Clyde." His voice was small, not the confident Butters Clyde had gotten to know these past few weeks.

Stephen gave Clyde a once-over and burst into laughter, "This shmuck? You _know_ you can do better than _that, _Leo_._" He leaned over, trying to lick at Butter's ear.

"I-I-I _like_ Clyde." He was still backing up as much as possible which made Clyde happy.

Clyde hopped up on top of their table and pulled Butter's to standing and out of the booth. "His name is fucking Butters!" He shouted before dragging his little mailman out of the pizza shop.

Butters was giggling like a lunatic as they left the shop. "That was amazing." He said squeezing Clyde's hand before letting go.

"Do I need to _guard _you all day?"

"No, I get off work in a couple of hours, call me when you get home so I can bring some clothes over." Butters said, digging around for his work key-fob. Clyde handed an already made key-copy to Butters, gave him a quick hug and departed with Craig for their day of leisure.

"If he gives you any trouble let me know and I'll come running." Clyde joked.

"We'll get the knives and plastic wrap, you bring the trash bags and chloroform!" Craig added jokingly. Butters chuckled and disappeared into the post office.

* * *

Clyde had more empty drawers than full ones and Butters quickly took advantage of two of them. It seemed Clyde just washed his linens and wore them straight out of the 'clean' laundry basket. He set to work getting a couple of Cornish hens in the oven quickly enough to finish for dinner.

Craig's kindle was lying on the kitchen counter, Butters picked it up curiously. The book Craig was reading so intently was some over-trashy novel about S&M. Butters dropped it back onto the counter as if burned and shook at the thought. '_Gross!'_

He settled down on the beat-up couch to watch some TV and dozed off. When Craig and Clyde finally spilled through the front door they were both sweaty and Clyde had a bruise on his cheek.

"Oh my god it smells good in here!" Clyde hummed, Craig nodded.

"Chicken." Butters sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"Are you ok?" Butters asked about the mark on Clyde's face.

"Yes." He mumbled.

Craig added, "He cried like a bitch, as usual." Clyde shoved him playfully.

Butters pulled the hens from the oven and dished out dinner. The other two men were very pleased again. Butters loved to watch people enjoy his cooking. "You should go to culinary school." Clyde thought out loud.

"No way, I don't want him to go cook for other people and get fucking _bored_ of it." Craig argued.

Butters grinned at their antics; he could get used to this, it was comfortable.

* * *

That night when Butters and Clyde retired to bed Clyde was feeling gutsy and brave. He stayed silent, leaning over Butters to kiss him, moving down to kiss his neck. Butters didn't look shocked, just the same calm happy smile he always wore (even in pain or disappointment) and Clyde realized _that _was what Clyde liked most about Butters. Clyde bravely undressed Butters, not waiting for the other boy's queue and was silently insistent that he would be servicing Butters first and not the other way around!

He touched his lover with his hands first and then timidly with his mouth. He'd remembered some of the things Butters had done to _him_ the previous night and tried to copy those motions. There were a couple of missteps where Butters would hiss from pain because Clyde couldn't watch his teeth or the smaller boy would shift under him to help re-position them; he was audibly enjoying the clumsy blow-job none the less. After a few minutes of frustrating teeth scrapes Butters pulled up on Clyde, trying to bring him back to eye level. Clyde looked confused, he'd been hoping to finish the other off like he'd done from him last night, but Butters was smiling and kissing him so passionately he couldn't keep his thoughts straight.

Butters skillfully wriggled them both out of the last of their clothing, the darkness making Clyde less shy as it had the prior night. Butters quickly reached over to the floor to grab his messenger bag and retrieved something from it. Clyde couldn't see anything, it was too dark. He heard the other fumbling with something before pulling Clyde back on top of him. One of the small hands that had rested against his shoulder was a little cold and wet and it confused Clyde.

Butters' legs wrapped around Clyde's waist and both of their heartbeats quickened. Butters' cold wet hand wrapped around Clyde's flesh and he whined in appreciation. Butters then guided Clyde against his backside and pulled with his legs, like a hug. Clyde groaned as he finally realized what Butters' plan had been, _sex_. It was tight, tighter than he'd expected it to be; it was terrifying and exciting at the same time. Every time Clyde started moving too fast and getting too close Butters would still his movements and kiss his face, drawing the moment out and Clyde was grateful. He was embarrassed by his noises but most were involuntary little grunts and Butters seemed to be turned on by them, regardless of how retarded Clyde thought he sounded. He loved the sounds Butters was making too, panting gasps and little whines, he couldn't help picturing Butters' face before when they were in full lighting and Clyde was touching him; his face was so euphoric.

The image made Clyde cum, harder than he ever had before because _Christ! This was like a damn that had been waiting to pour into the river for twenty years! An agonizingly long build up of feelings, _it made Clyde want to cry which would be just like him, but he tried to stay strong because he wanted to be, _for Butters. _

* * *

**I just couldn't make this sex scene nasty or kinky! They're just **_**too sweet**_**; artificial-sugar-cloyingly-syrupy sweet… oooo I should make them have a food fetish! *My username should be GutterMind***

**(Probably why I started writing HTTADW, to get my kinkies out.) **


	7. Cake

**Chapter 7: Cake**

**serendipityrain711****: You're awesome, as always. **

**Rated M for…more… adult stuff. Warning: Sticky loving?**

* * *

Craig awoke to the sweet smell of Butters' cooking, God damn he'd have to start paying that boy! He stumbled sleepily out into the kitchen where Butters was busying himself pouring pancake batter into a hot pan. "I h-hope you don't mind having syrup again?" Butters said, nervously eyeing his new roommate.

"Whatever it is I'm sure it's fucking amazing, as usual." He said with very little emotion, sitting down to read his trashy novel.

Butters blushed at the thought of what Craig was reading. The pancakes smelled like hot cinnamon rolls, how did that boy stay so _thin_? Craig was sure he'd already gained five or so pounds from Butters' offerings.

"Where's your fat lump of a boyfriend?" Craig grumbled.

Butters chuckled at Craig's insult, "He's sleeping _of course_."

"Of course…" Speaking of the devil, Clyde treaded into the living room like a zombie sniffing at the cinnamon flavored air. "It's alive!" Craig mocked as his friend plopped down in front of the huge plate of pancakes Butters had left for him.

"Morning Butters…" Clyde decided to ignore Craig's insults.

"Well, hey there." The perpetually happy boy grinned at his _boyfriend_. Clyde blushed when he saw Butters' knowing grin.

They'd had had _sex_ last night, it was all coming back to him, life changing fornication. Did the morning gossip twins talk about it this morning? He glanced over at Craig who had his head buried in his kindle sucking some syrup off one of his spidery digits. Now way, Craig hadn't cracked any jokes about it, and he _would have_.

"I don't have to work today, we could go do something?" Butters suggested, snapping Clyde out of his thoughts.

"Like what?"

"I don't know, we could go out to eat somewhere fancy for lunch." Butters shrugged.

_Fancy_, not like Shakey's pizza. "I'm kind of broke." Clyde frowned.

"We could cook something together; I could show you how to make anything you want!" Butters really had a passion for cooking.

"Chocolate cake? Devil's food?" Clyde wiggled his eyebrows.

"Sure, that's easy!"

"Cake is a lie." Craig mumbled at the two.

* * *

After Craig had left for work and Butters had returned from his quick trip to the store the two boys set up their ingredients for the cake. "This is going to be so much fun!" Butters clapped his hands together enthusiastically.

Clyde sighed, he was glad to be spending time with his new object of desire, but this already seemed daunting and boring at the same time. Butters kept trying to get Clyde involved but all he wanted was to _eat_ the cake. Clyde watched as Butters scrambled around, boiling water, mixing, spraying the pan, preheating the oven. Butters was measuring, Clyde was stirring, and it was god-awful _boring_. He was relieved when the cake finally made it into the oven, Clyde could sit down now… "Frosting." Butters said setting a bowl in front of Clyde. He groaned in misery internally.

"Since when is there Mayonnaise in frosting?" Clyde mumbled while Butters was adding ingredients for Clyde to stir.

"_My_ frosting has mayonnaise." Butters giggled. "Don't worry! It's really good." The small boy poured melted chocolate in Clyde's concoction.

"Is it done?" Clyde whined, his arm cramping from all the stirring.

"Yes." Butters stuck his finger in the bowl and brought the chunk of sugar up to Clyde's lips. Clyde grinned and sucked the frosting off Butters' extremity.

"Wow." He said smiling widely, "That's fucking awesome."

Butters sucked the remaining treat from his finger, leaving a small bit on the corner of his mouth. What could be better than chocolate covered Butters? Clyde leaned over and licked the frosting from Butter's face. _Nothing is better… _

Butters' grinned wickedly, he dipped his finger back into the bowl and smeared some frosting on Clyde's lower lip before attacking him in a passionate kiss. "Everything tastes better covered in chocolate." Butters whispered against Clyde's lips, as if he'd read Clyde's mind… his _dirty dirty_ mind.

The blonde turned away from him and began busying himself filling a pastry bag with the fresh frosting, he tucked the bowl into the fridge to stay cool and wandered over to Clyde. "Frosting's my favorite part of cake." Butters said, scooting himself up onto the counter.

"Isn't it everyone's favorite part?"

"My mom scrapes it off." Butters replied pointedly. He grabbed Clyde's hand and started writing on his middle finger with the pastry bag, his small but steady hands digging into Clyde's flesh slightly. The frosting crawled out in decorated tendrils as Butters drew an astoundingly beautiful yet small loopy version of Clyde's name on his finger.

"You have nice handwriting." Clyde said dumbly. Butters pulled the limb toward himself and stuck it In his mouth. "You ruined it." He frowned. Butters didn't let go, he kept the digit in his mouth and was sucking it gently. Clyde was getting aroused, he blushed and tried to pull his hand away from Butters who held on tight.

"Stop it, you're giving me a boner!" Clyde yanked at his arm again.

Butters pulled his mouth away and laughed, "That's the idea."

"Oh." Clyde found himself being dragged to the bedroom speedily. Butters still had the pastry bag hanging from one hand. "What are you bringing _that_ for?" Clyde pointed at the frosting.

"To eat." Butters threw the bag on Clyde's nightstand and pulled his shirt off.

"oh…" Clyde started undressing as well, not really sure what his boyfriend's intentions were.

Butters grabbed the condiment and slid down to his knees. He yanked Clyde's button open and pulled him from his pants. Butters now had a lot more surface area to write as he brought up the pastry bag, Clyde's dick was a lot bigger than his middle finger! Butters wrote '_Butters' lunch'_ across the organ in the same loopy cursive and Clyde chuckled.

This time Butters smeared the writing before sticking it in his mouth, he smeared it all over. Clyde hoped it wouldn't be too hard to clean but Butters seemed quite willing and able to consume every last grain of sugar as he took Clyde into his mouth as far as he possibly could without gagging. Clyde looked up at the ceiling, watching Butters down there was too much to handle, he would cum way too soon.

He could imagine it was really delicious down there, more than usual with the dark chocolate frosting covering him. He couldn't help thrusting toward the mouth consuming him while he was imagining Butters savoring the taste. Clyde held out as long as he could but the sensation and even the _idea _was too maddening to continue, he didn't have time to warn Butters of his release but the other didn't complain.

Clyde playfully pushed the other boy down onto his bed and grabbed the messy pastry bag, he began writing on Butters' own organ in sloppy terrible writing '_yummy'_, the pastry bag was a lot harder to control than a pen, Butters laughed at his attempt (It didn't matter how it looked anyways). Clyde was insanely hungry for the delicious chocolate frosting and greedily licked it from Butters.

Butters thought to himself that Clyde was doing a lot better with the food _there_, he wasn't using too much teeth and he was excitingly eager about it. Maybe they should use food every time they do this? Butters certainly didn't mind, he was obsessed with sweets and this felt _so good_.

Butters took a little longer than Clyde, but they were both euphoric, collapsed on Clyde's bed when the over timer dinged. Butters scrambled up and pulled his boxers on before scurrying out to the kitchen. Clyde lazily pulled on his own underwear and jeans before trudging out to the kitchen, it smelled like hot chocolate. Butters had removed their cake from the oven and was retrieving the remaining frosting. Clyde stood behind his lover, wrapping his arms around the small boy's waist and watching him spread the frosting evenly across the desert. "mmmmm…" Clyde hummed against the blonde's shoulder.

Craig walked in the door and cringed, his two roommates were in the kitchen shirtless and cuddling over their stupid cake, and Butters wasn't wearing pants! "Get a fucking room." He growled storming off to his cave.

The other two laughed and Butters retreated to the bedroom to get some pants on.

* * *

**A/N: Short, but sexy :o **


	8. Parfait

**Chapter 8: parfait **

**A/N: This will be the last chapter of this story, not because I don't enjoy it but because… how many chapters can I write about the same thing, they're so perfect? They're actually happy, it'll be my first happy ending ever :)**

**serendipityrain711****: Yes… Chocolate covered Butters, he has a gooey center like a Cadbury egg *evil laugh* **

**Sarysoda: I figured these two would be awkward with each other it makes Clyde seem sweeter, I think it's working? **

**xLawlietx: Thank you for the lovely compliments :)**

**Rated M for…more… adult stuff. **

* * *

Clyde stretched sleepily and pried his eyes open, he'd come to enjoy the breakfast smells that filled the house in the morning but today… it didn't smell good at all. He stood up and rubbed his eyes, Butters wasn't in bed… and he wasn't in the kitchen making goodies… he wasn't _home_. Clyde noticed the clock said it was just past noon, he'd slept in and Butters was already at work.

"Cake!" He moaned like a zombie as he walked toward the fridge. When he opened the white beast to get his desert he paused with his hand hovering over the chocolate art. In the center rack there was a small plate with a glass sitting on it, in the glass were perfect layers of fruit, yogurt and granola stacked on top of one another and a little note was propped against the glass. The note said _Clyde_ in that loopy cursive Butters had used on him with the frosting. He blushed at the thought and grabbed the treat his boyfriend had left him.

Clyde's phone chimed while he was digging into his breakfast… er brunch… that Butters had left him. He didn't like being interrupted while eating but he glanced at the screen regardless while shoving anther cold bite into his mouth. It was a text from Butters, maybe he was on break?

Butters: I left a present for you in the fridge!

Clyde: Got it. Yum

Butters: I miss you.

Clyde typed out '_I love you' _but quickly deleted it and wrote, '_I miss u2_'

* * *

Butters was having difficulty focusing on work, the thought of Clyde was making him giddy. Their relationship may not have been 'love at first sight', in fact Butters hadn't thought it was going to last at all, but it was starting to grow inside him like a weed left untended.

He rushed through his work sloppily and was relieved when it was time to go home, Clyde might be waiting there for him and he just wanted to see his face, hear his voice and hug him so tight his organs might squeeze out like toothpaste. He could imagine Clyde finishing his parfait and moving onto the cake they had made the previous day and it made him laugh.

"Clyde?" Was the first word from Butters' mouth as he walked through the front door. His boyfriend emerged from the hallway wearing only sweatpants and with a smudge of chocolate on the corner of his mouth.

"Hey, Butters. How was work?"

"Did ya have some cake?" Butters chuckled.

"Noooo?" Clyde said _trying_ to sound suspicious teasingly.

Butters approached Clyde and wiped the frosting from the corner of his mouth with his thumb and stuck the thumb in his own mouth. "No? If it's not cake you sure taste good."

"One hundred percent organic." Clyde winked.

"So…" Butters started, the look on his face made Clyde's smile fade away. "My college called today and I got offered a real good job in California, it'd be really hard to say no!"

"Oh…" Clyde frowned, looking down at the ground. "Are you… gonna go?"

"Well… yeah." Butters shrugged.

"Oh." Clyde's eyes were tearing up, he was glad he hadn't sent that text…

"Well, I was wondering if…" Butters hummed nervously, "If maybe you'd want to go with me? It's okay if you don't want to… but I'd really like that."

Clyde's smile returned to his face in an instant, "I'll miss Craig." Clyde glanced at the empty hall; Craig was at work.

"Well, he _can_ visit us and he won't have to walk in on us cuddling or anything!" Butters laughed.

"Yeah, when are you moving?" Clyde grabbed the other boy into a bone crushing hug.

"_we're_ moving in a month." Butters strained through the pressure on his ribcage.

* * *

The worst part of California for Clyde was definitely the _heat_, it was intense. Colorado had been a pleasant sixty five degrees and this Hollywood_ hell _was a staggering _ninety eight_! Clyde climbed out of the cab panting like he was gasping for air, "Water! I need water!"

"Stop being so dramatic." Butters chuckled, he was sweating too but being the smaller of the two it wasn't bothering him too much. "We can go to the beach this weekend!" He added excitedly.

Clyde visibly perked up, "I've never been…"

"It's beautiful!" Butters skipped up to the door of their new apartment. It was an old building and the stoves and heating were all gas, but they were switching on the air conditioning which Clyde had never even _had_ his whole life, they'd never needed it in South Park.

The apartment was already filled with their boxes and furniture, the new job had paid for relocation including professional movers which really helped. "We'll have to get a TV." Clyde mumbled, they'd been previously using Craig's in the living room and Clyde's little portable TV looked stupid in the living room.

"Yeah, just take the small one to the room; we'll probably watch more TV in there anyways…" Butters grabbed a box with _bedroom_ written across it and followed Clyde into their new bedroom.

They both set down what they'd been carrying and Clyde wiped his forehead and said, "Guess we should start unpacking?"

"Or… we could christen the apartment." Butters stepped closer to the other and planted a kiss across his sweaty lips.

"I don't feel very _sexy_ right now." Clyde wafted his partially wet shirt for emphasis.

"We could christen the _shower_." Butters added suggestively, Clyde's expression perked up.

They both pulled off their clothes quickly and although Butters had some difficulty with the shower controls he got it working and at a tolerable temperature before dragging Clyde in. Clyde was a little taller than Butters so his groin stopped at Butters' belly button, he made a witty joke about fucking Butters _in_ the belly button making the blonde laugh.

"I think I'd prefer you put it elsewhere…" He grabbed Clyde's cock with one small wet hand and played with him teasingly.

Clyde scratched his head in thought, glancing around. Butters was charmed when Clyde looked confused like that, it was _cute_. "How…"

Butters slipped his free arm around Clyde's neck, "Lift me up."

Clyde hooked both hands under Butters' knees and lifted, he wasn't sure if Butters was _really_ light or he was _really_ strong, but this was easy. Butters had brought some lotion with them into the shower, he'd insisted that in _here_ they didn't need anything else, so he clumsily prepared him with _that_, trying not to drop him.

When he pressed into his lover it _was_ easier because of the water, but he had to concentrate hard on not dropping the other boy who felt heavier with every thrust. Butters was nipping at his ear affactinately betweek his cute little moans. "I love you, Clyde." Butters gasped into Clyde's ear just before he was spent, and Clyde returned the sentiment, as he had wanted to say it before, but didn't have the courage. The best part of the shower sex was when they finished there wasn't anything to clean up, or rather they could clean up easily.

"I could get used to this." Clyde smiled.

* * *

**A/N: The End. **

**Aw they're so Happy :D Sorry about any errors, I felt rushed. Thank you for reading!**


End file.
